Posts: General / An amusing conversation I had with an attorney recently.

As best as I can remember, this is the actual conversation...

Attorney: Hello, I represent NAME REDACTED and I'm calling so I can get a copy of the report. My client has incurred some expenses as a result of this crash and I would like to contact the other party's insurance to see if they will pay my client back and possibly rent my client a car.

Me: Hmmm. I'd like to help you but I see two problems. First, your client caused the crash so I think its unlikely the other person's insurance is going to pay anything much less rent a car. The second problem is you will have to go through records to get that information. The report is protected by certain public records laws so we don't give out information over the phone.

Attorney: What do you mean my client is at fault? I spoke to a witness that says the other party was at fault.

Me: I've spoken to many witnesses and they all have said your client is at fault. Maybe if you give me your witness' name I can tell you if I've spoken with them and what they told me.

Attorney: LONG PAUSE. Well I'm sure you've already spoken to them.

Me: And If you just give me their name I can verify that.

Attorney: You seem like you're really on top of it so I'm sure you already have the information.

Me: The Jedi mind trick doesn't really work on me, so please just give me the name of your witness.

Attorney: You're getting kind of loud with me and your giving me a hard time.

Me: I'm sorry. I've never had an attorney call me before, tell me they have a witness that can prove their client is innocent and then refuse to give me the witness. I'm kind of shocked really. You do realize that as an officer of the court you are not allowed to withhold potential evidence in an investigation?

Attorney: Well because of the holiday, I don't really have access to the file right now.

Me: I'll be expecting your callback tomorrow.

The attorney never called me back with the name.

that was great.